You Are What You Eat

Sweets were my family’s kryptonite growing up. Every family gathering, and every holiday, we’d have dessert, and lots of it! At Easter we’d have lots of pies and cookies in addition to jelly beans and robin eggs. At Christmas we’d have lots of candy in our stockings. After opening presents, we’d gorge ourselves on more pie and Christmas cookies.  

Every time I went to grandma’s house as a kid, there was always ice cream and cookies. I remember once my grandparents let me have a rootbeer float for lunch! If you ask Nick, I have a pretty bad sweet tooth. But when you look at my family culture and habits growing up, you’ll see that I come by it honestly. 

My aunt is diabetic. After my mom had her breast cancer, she also developed diabetes. My grandfather had diabetes and congestive heart failure. We loved sugar as a family. But sugar clearly did not love us and left us unhealthy. We were also a blend of Mexican and Italian cultures, so we loved our carbs! 

I remember as my grandparents aged, their health also quickly declined. After my mom’s cancer, she started to get serious about her health and worked hard to get my immediate family to change our diet. She always made sure we had veggies to snack on and that they were at every meal. My mom tried to convince my grandparents that they needed to change as well for their health and quality of life. 

My grandparents were stubborn. Granddad used to have a saying, “The Good Lord knows when I’m gonna go, so if I want to eat bologna, I’m gonna eat bologna!” They were just too stuck in their ways. They were not willing to give up their junk food.

Granddad once had gout in his foot before I left for grad school. Grandma took him to the doctor. The doctor refused to give him medication. He told my granddad to reduce his intake of red meat and sugar. He was instructed to ice his foot and elevate it. If the swelling didn’t go down after a few days, THEN the doctor would order medication. Well, granddad iced and elevated his foot once because I made him do it! Grandma finally called the doctor and caused such a fuss that the doctor was pressured into giving him medication. 

I love my grandparents so much. They were both God fearing people who loved the Lord. They were super sweet and full of life. But man, were they stubborn! This incident with my grandfather’s gout made me mad. At that moment, I was not proud of them. As much as I loved them, I did not want to be like them. Being healthy takes work. A magic pill isn’t going to fix everything. They just weren’t willing to put in the work to change. 

It was after this incident that I became a pescetarian. I wasn’t a huge fan of meat anyways. I also figured reducing my intake of meat would encourage me to eat more vegetables. I didn’t want to be like my grandparents. I wanted to be healthy. I wanted to be around for a long time for my children and my family. All through graduate school, I only ate fish, seafood, and other vegetarian friendly foods. 

I learned that being a pescetarian did not automatically mean I was healthy. Nick is from a tiny town in the middle-of-nowhere Illinois. The closest Walmart was 30 minutes away. His family ate a lot of fast food. While I cooked a lot of quinoa and veggies at school, I ate less healthy food when I went to visit my fiance on the weekends. 

After I married Nick, I one day had a sudden craving for chicken nuggets. The craving would not go away. Since I was a pescetarian and Nick wasn’t, we’d often cook food with and without meat, or leave the meat on the side. Maybe being married to him and watching him eat chicken was too much of a temptation for me, I don’t know. I do know that eventually, we went to McDonald’s and got me some chicken nuggets. They were heavenly! 

I know what you’re thinking! Chicken is not pescetarian! Well, actually it technically still is. There are many pescetarians who eat poultry in addition to fish and sea food. So, that is what I did. Adding chicken back in made things easier for Nick and I as far as cooking and meal planning, so it worked out for us. We could finally eat the same dishes together!

Despite cutting out red meats, I started to gain weight at the end of graduate school and into my marriage with Nick. We both decided to give Weight Watchers a try. We cooked meals using the cook book they sent us and held each other accountable. I lost around 10 pounds or so. Then I got a job out of state. With the stress and strain of moving to a completely new place, Nick and I took a “break” from Weight Watchers. I continued to gain weight and was frustrated.

I was also frustrated that we hadn’t gotten pregnant yet. We started trying to get pregnant in December of 2019. Midway through 2021, it had already been a couple of years with no luck. I tried to do a lot of research about how to get pregnant. I was determined to find a solution.

One day, I saw a YouTube video of a doctor giving a presentation, advocating for the vegan diet for fertility. The doctor also talked about how bad sugar is for fertility. Nick was asleep on the couch while I watched. After finishing the video, I woke him up. “Nick, I have bad news for you.” “Huh?” he asked groggily, trying to wake up. “Cheese causes infertility in men.” He glared at me, covered up with the blanket again, and rolled over. Cheese is his favorite food, so he was not happy to hear the news, especially after being woken up from a nap! 

After watching the video, we decided not to completely cut out meat, but to cut out all non-natural sugar from our diet. We still ate chicken and fish, but we substituted animal products for plant based as often as we could. During this time, I lost about 10 pounds again! But old habits slowly creep back in. We couldn’t keep up with the new changes. My sweet tooth was too strong. 

In April of 2023, I had a menstrual period that was so bad, we thought we had a miscarriage. There was just so much blood! I really should have gone to the emergency room, but I felt I was just barely on the edge of actually needing to go. I was very sick, could hardly stand, and bled profusely for a full week. 

A few weeks later, I went to a women’s retreat with the ladies from my church. A couple of the speakers gave testimonies about their own struggles with infertility or difficulties starting their families. Given that I was wrestling with my own possible miscarriage, the whole weekend was heartwrenching for me. It was all I could think about. 

After the retreat on the last day, I went out to dinner with two of my friends, then we all went back to my home. We sat on my patio and talked until early in the morning! While talking, it came up in conversation that I had been trying to get pregnant for a while and was struggling (though I did not tell them I thought I had a miscarriage). 

One of my friends recommended a podcast about fertility and nutrition. The next day, I looked into the podcast. The women in this podcast were claiming they healed their PCOS with diet. Their claims about diet were controversial and seemed to go against what modern health gurus recommend. They encouraged drinking unpasteurized milk! But if you weren’t comfortable with that, drinking whole milk was the next best alternative. Red meat contains vitamin A, which is important for fertility. They also talked about how sugar is not bad in and of itself. It depends on the kind of sugar eaten that affects our health and fertility. 

I had restricted my body of nutrients through various diet changes throughout my life. I wondered if taking their advice would help with my infertility and get my PCOS under control. I switched to whole milk and whole fat products. I also re-introduced red meat into my diet for the first time in seven years! That was weird and took some getting used to. It had been so long that I didn’t remember what beef tasted like. 

Despite these drastic changes, my fertility did not improve. I continued to experience PCOS symptoms. My periods were still few and far between and very heavy. I continued to gain weight. And there was still no baby. 

In January, 2025, Nick and I finally had health insurance after being without it for a few years. In February, we went to meet our new primary care doctor. While we were there, the doctor checked my A1C. Having PCOS often comes with insulin resistance. Because of this, the doctor wanted to monitor my blood sugar. 

My A1C was 6.1. If you don’t know anything about diabetes or blood sugar levels, that’s high! I was still technically in the pre-diabetic range, but if my sugar got any higher, I would become diabetic. Nick freaked out. His dad passed away in 2020 from diabetic complications, so he had reason to be freaked out. Nick really pushed for us to change our diet again and get healthy. 

In March, I started seeing a new OB-GYN to address my PCOS and abnormally heavy periods. A blood sample was taken that confirmed my A1C and insulin levels were above the normal range. I remember feeling so frustrated. I tried everything to be healthy. I have done so many diets, taken things out and added things in. My body was still a mess. 

I thought back to the podcast I had been listening to. I didn’t want to become diabetic. I didn’t want to be like my grandparents and expect medicine to fix my problems. I was willing to put in the work to be healthy. I asked for a referral for nutritional counseling. As informative as the podcast was, I just felt so overwhelmed by all the noise of health and fitness propaganda. I think the podcast also gave me a bit of information overload. I was frustrated and just wanted clear answers. How the heck am I supposed to eat to truly be healthy?

Right before I was scheduled to meet with the nutritional counselor, I learned that I had endometrial cancer. Now I had a new reason to learn to eat healthy. The original referral was to manage pre-diabetes and lower my blood sugar levels. When I went in, I told them I now had an additional focus- eating for cancer. I actually met the oncologist for the first time and saw the nutritionist on the same day! 

It was there that I learned about, and was encouraged to eat a Mediterranean diet. She gave me an example plate as a visual. About ¼ of the plate had protein, so maybe a piece of chicken. The next ¼ had some sort of carb, so a baked potato, or some sort of whole grain food. Then 50% of the plate was vegetables. We really needed to up our veggie intake! 

Contrary to my podcast, I was encouraged to switch to 2% milk and low fat items. Things like white bread and pasta were also to be switched to whole wheat or whole grain. We were also supposed to cook with olive oil instead of butter. We could still eat red meat, but had to significantly reduce it and add in more fish. 

To prevent my blood sugar from dropping or having big spikes, I was encouraged to eat 4 small meals a day instead of the traditional 3. I was also given a specific amount of water that I should be taking in each day. The nutritionist also gave me a target calorie count to accommodate for the energy my body would need to fight cancer. 

With the scare of both my A1C and insulin being high, as well as finding out that I had cancer, I was highly motivated to jump into the new diet. We found a Mediterranean cook book and started making recipes from it. They were delicious! And if I didn’t feel full enough, I made myself a salad as an extra side. 

Things were looking good. I initially lost 4 pounds. I was so excited! The changes were working! Then they weren’t. While still being on the new diet, I gained all 4 pounds back, and then some. Then I plateaued. I felt so defeated and frustrated. In addition to the diet changes, Nick and I also got a gym membership. My weight made some of the exercise classes harder, and I was intimidated by the machines. 

There was also another obstacle- my loving husband. He grew up in a family similar to mine- Midwesterners who loved sweets. His dad’s family was also Italian, so he also loved his carbs. I remember one night letting him have spaghetti for dinner. He melted in his chair and exclaimed, “Oh my god, carbs!” 

I also tried to make whole wheat bread and whole wheat pizza dough. “I don’t like it…” was often the response. It’s frustrating, but I can’t be mad at him. Change is hard. We have gotten off the bandwagon and gotten back on. We are not completely eating a Mediterranean diet right now, but we are at least looking for new ways to incorporate vegetables and eat more whole foods. 

In February of this year, my doctor came in and high-fived me after my A1C was tested! It was still high, but it had gone down to the normal range! Despite the scale and the way my body felt saying otherwise, the changes we had made were doing some good. I felt a little reassured that we were moving in the right direction. 

As my cancer treatment progressed, and we saw improvement in my condition, we started seeing a fertility specialist. We can’t try to get pregnant until all of the cancer is gone, but we have been able to start with initial testing and ask questions. During our last appointment, the endocrinologist said, “You know, fat cells produce estrogen.” The increase in estrogen causes hormonal imbalance. Hormonal imbalances often cause weight gain, which leads to more estrogen, and the cycle continues. She encouraged me to try to lose weight and put in a referral for a weight loss facility. 

I felt defeated again. Though my A1C was down, blood work through the fertility clinic showed my insulin was still high. Having PCOS makes it very hard for someone to lose weight. I never wanted to be the stereotype, but here I was. Not only that, my weight was also probably a contributing factor to my cancer. And not only that, but my cancer treatment was contributing to weight gain! I feel like I have tried everything. My body just keeps hitting the self-destruct button over and over again. 

In March, I had a biopsy done at the oncology office. The biopsy showed only pre-cancer cells. We were so excited! The cancer was almost gone! We planned to do a follow-up biopsy in July. We were so hopeful and prayed so hard for no more cancer! 

This July, I went in for my follow-up biopsy. The results were not what we were hoping for. The results still showed pre-cancer cells. During the actual procedure, the oncologist had a hard time getting a good sample. I was cramping that day, and cramps cause the uterus to constrict and contort, making it hard to reach inside. She was worried she didn’t get a good enough sample. Because of this, I was told there is a 40% chance I still have full grown cancer cells in my uterus. 

I am feeling even more defeated right now. My weight has increased so much from the progesterone and the stress. We have been going through a lot, and Nick and I have both fallen off the bandwagon once again. Because of my constant cramps, it has been really hard to get to the gym. I honestly haven’t been in a long time, and I need to. I feel like my eating and my sugar intake are a mess. And now, I get this bad news that I still have cancer. 

The beautiful thing, however, is that the battle isn’t over. We can still fight the cancer. The doctor increased the dosage on my megestrol to help hit the cancer harder with progesterone. Just because we fell off the bandwagon does not mean that we can’t get back on. We’ve already come so far, and we are not prepared to quit just yet. 

If you’re like me, and you’re struggling with your health and your weight, let me encourage you. Honestly, I am encouraging myself too. No one is perfect. We’re going to mess up. That sugar craving is going to get the best of us. Ice cream will forever call our name! Our weight is going to move up and down. But we can still start again at any time. Don’t give up. The fight’s not over. 

I love my grandparents so much, but I don’t want to be my grandparents. I want to break the habits and change the culture of my family tree with healthy eating. I want to be healthy. I want to beat cancer. I want to have a family and live a long time to enjoy them. Even though it’s hard work, I am ready and willing to put in the effort to make a change. 

I’d like to invite you to join in on our journey and help be our cheerleader. In most states, insurance companies are not required to cover fertility treatment. Our next part of our journey will have to be paid for out of pocket! A round of IVF for example can cost $15,000 to $20,000! Thankfully, my sweet sister-in-law started a GoFundMe campaign for us to help with medical bills and fertility treatments. Follow me on social media and check out future blog posts as I share my story. Breast cancer seems to get all the attention in the media. But not all cancer is pink! My aim is to share my story and bring awareness beyond the pink ribbon.